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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Chuck Norris turned 70 today. I don't know what's scarier, that he's 70 or that he could still beat up most 20-year-olds.

In honor of the great martial arts master, devoted Christian, and articulate conservative, here are a few facts you may not have previously known about Mr. Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
  • Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
  • Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.
  • M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
  • Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
  • Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
  • Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
  • Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  • Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
  • Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

1 comments:

Chris A said...

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cried.

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Darius' book montage

The Cross Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel The Main Thing
Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God
Overcoming Sin and Temptation
According to Plan: The Unfolding Revelation of God in the Bible
Disciplines of a Godly Man
Money, Greed, and God: Why Capitalism Is the Solution and Not the Problem
When Helping Hurts: Alleviating Poverty Without Hurting the Poor. . .and Ourselves
The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith
Respectable Sins
The Kite Runner
Life Laid Bare: The Survivors in Rwanda Speak
Machete Season: The Killers in Rwanda Speak
A Generous Orthodoxy: Why I am a missional, evangelical, post/protestant, liberal/conservative, mystical/poetic, biblical, charismatic/contemplative, fundamentalist/calvinist, ... anabaptist/anglican, metho
Show Them No Mercy
The Lord of the Rings
Life at the Bottom: The Worldview That Makes the Underclass
The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception
Cool It: The Skeptical Environmentalist's Guide to Global Warming
The Chronicles of Narnia
Les Misérables


Darius Teichroew's favorite books »