Echoes in Eternity

Two articles this week underscore the silliness of the global warming scare-a-thon. The first, by David Limbaugh, discusses the need to keep a careful eye on those who would claim that enacting policies like the Kyoto Protocol would do anything beyond destroying our economy.

Whether or not blind faith in man-made, catastrophic global warming has become a new religion, many of its adherents, ironically, embrace it with the same type of unquestioning zeal they sloppily attribute to and summarily condemn in Christians.

Case in point: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, after leading a congressional delegation to Greenland, declared that she and her fellow travelers saw "firsthand evidence that climate change is a reality, there is just no denying it."

Pelosi is also sure the "global warming" is caused by human beings. She said, "It wasn't caused by the people of Greenland; it was caused by the behavior of the rest of the world."
...
In the Jimmy Carter spirit of bashing the president and the United States on foreign soil in front of foreign leaders who are emboldened by American self-flagellation, Pelosi subtly criticized President Bush for failing to endorse Kyoto. Once again, she sided with a foreign government over her own.

Pelosi said, "We hope that we can all assume our responsibilities with great respect and that our administration will be open to listening to why it is important to go forward perhaps in a different way than we have proceeded in the past." In other words, the president should get off his selfish, imperialistic, unilateralist duff and join European nations in their quest to bankrupt themselves in furtherance of a highly dubious (and debatable -- yes, debatable) cause.

Before Pelosi condemns President Bush too fiercely on this subject, she should be reminded that Democrats, along with Republicans, passed a unanimous Senate resolution (95-0) in 1997 opposing the United States's participation in Kyoto absent certain conditions. First, it must apply to developing nations, and second, it must not result in serious harm to the U.S. economy. Moreover, President Clinton never sent it to the Senate for ratification.

What about the environmental track record of Germany and other European nations that signed the Kyoto treaty and, along with double agent Nancy Pelosi, are scolding the United States for destroying the world?

Again, the facts are not Speaker Pelosi's friends. According to Chris Horner's delicious "Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming and Environmentalism," Europe promised it would live up to Kyoto; it isn't. It promised its carbon dioxide emissions would be down, but they're up, it promised its emissions would be dropping, but they are rising. "Since 2000 they are increasing three times as fast as America's." No matter. Europe still lambastes America because, like good liberals, it subscribes to the axiom that good intentions mean more than results.
...
While I'm sure many are convinced of the benign intentions of the global alarmists and discount any conspiratorial design on their part to radically compromise our capitalism, liberties and sovereignty, it's hard to understand how they would proceed differently if they were active conspirators.

Those who are willing to give up so much in pursuit of so little can't possibly be accused of an affinity for the glorious uniqueness of America. We must keep a sharp eye on them.

The second column, by Ben Shapiro, discusses some tongue-in-cheek ideas for individuals to use in their everyday lives to fight global warming.

Well, global left, your words have finally hit home. I finally realized that correlation does equal causation after all. As one of the pig-Americans you so despise, I pledge to do my utmost to mitigate the threat of global warming.

And so, without further ado, I henceforth dedicate myself to achieving the following goals to aid Mother Earth:

-- EAT COWS. Turns out, cows are the climate's worst enemy. Cows, it seems, are culpable for 18 percent of greenhouse gases. Their cud-chewing, flatulence and burping create giant clouds of methane. All this time, we thought the cattle were our mammalian friends. But, fools that we are, the cows outsmarted us. While we milked them, they pursued their long-term strategy of world domination.

So the question becomes: What can we do to fight the global onslaught of the bovine herds?
...
I say this looming threat must be handled -- and handled immediately. I believe Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi when she says, "Now is time to act; the future of our country, indeed our entire planet, is at stake." I stand with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid when he explains, "We cannot afford to defer action."

It's the cows or us, people. If we eat them faster than they can reproduce, we can sleep easy at night. Hamburgers are the answer. Steaks. Barbecue ribs. Vegetarians, dissent here isn't patriotism -- it's global suicide.

So let's roll. Or rather, let's put them on a roll.

-- BUY A GAS-GUZZLING 2007 FORD MUSTANG GT CONVERTIBLE. I can't afford a private jet like Al Gore, Arianna Huffington or Laurie David, so I'll have to settle for a Windveil Blue GT -- with leather interior, to make sure I pick off a couple of cows.

First off, buying a GT will drive up the price of gas-guzzling sports cars. If fewer people can afford gas-guzzlers, I'm saving the planet.

Second, my new GT won't use ethanol. That's a benefit in and of itself. Manufacturing ethanol requires more pollution than manufacturing gasoline. As John Stossel reports, "The standard mixture of 90 percent ethanol and 10 percent gasoline pollutes worse than gasoline."
...
-- CONVINCE FELLOW GLOBAL WARMING CRUSADERS TO STOP BREATHING. Al Gore says, "[W]e should start by immediately freezing CO2 emissions and then beginning sharp reductions." I concur. If carbon dioxide emissions are the problem, persuading global warming fanatics to immediately stop exhaling may be the solution.

I'd buy a carbon offset for that.

Shapiro stole that last idea from me, as I posed it on Yahoo Answers a couple of weeks ago.